Genius? Truly?

I've spent a lot of time with iTunes. By a lot, I mean obscene amounts of time. It provides the soundtrack to my dramatic life in some form or another and has done so since its inception. Yes. I know iTunes in the musical sense. It knows me in the financial sense. We're tight like that. It's how we roll. And rock.

iTunes has a feature called "Genius Recommendations." When you're viewing the store's main page, it displays a list of suggested songs and albums you may be interested in, based on the songs you buy. iTunes does a lot of things right, but its recommendations are so far off the mark, it's laughable.

This was my list of Genius Recommendations this morning:

Let's look at this:

Snoop Dogg. Really? I like hip-hop as much as the next pasty-white Mormon redhead, but Snoop? Fo shizzle to the no.

Megadeth. Hmmm... Again, I like 80s butt rock. I own Monster Ballads and know every word to "Welcome to the Jungle." But I don't like pouring sulfuric acid in my ears, which is what Megadeth is. What, praytell, have I purchased that makes iTunes think I'd enjoy Megadeth?!?

Wedding Music could come in handy ... if the lead singer of Megadeth wanted to marry me.

Let's not even talk about 2 Live Crew. Blasted cop killers. Oh, don't get me started. I remember the early 90s when phrases like "Parental Adviory: Explicit Lyrics" were the kiss of death. But I definitely don't do no Crew.

So, iTunes? I love you. I'll always love you because you're my music sugar daddy. You bring me joy and endless opportunities for making playlists. But please stop bringing me roses when I'd rather you just deliver up gift cards.